My Big 9-Year-Old
Addy turned nine on Saturday. That seems crazy to me!! It’s taken me years to believe and accept that I am actually an adult and responsible for three small children and all of a sudden I’m supposed to accept that I have a 9-year-old.
On Thursday afternoon she came running home from a friend’s house announcing that she needed deodorant and she was excited about it. It was all I could do not to laugh as she walked up to me with her arm raised so I could smell for myself. She was right!! There it was, that unmistakable BO smell. OMG!! Her three closest friends have been wearing deodorant for a couple of years now, and Addy has been asking. I kept telling her she didn’t need it and I just didn’t want her to start yet. So the fact that she finally had a legitimate excuse made her very happy. We had plans to go school supply shopping that evening, so we added deodorant to the list. You should have seen her trying to pick out just the right scent. She finally settled on vanilla.
I gotta tell you, I’m just not ready for this even though I knew it was coming. For months, she’s been at that in-between stage of not really needing a bra, but having to be careful about wearing white shirts, and now I think she’s going to need one almost every day. We are definitely going to have to get some more before school starts. (I’m sure she will be far more excited about that than I am.) We have also had several conversations (aka arguments) lately that have been so irrational, raging hormones had to be running the show. Then, I was looking at her on Friday and she had three little pimples on her nose (it was all I could do not to hold her down and pop them). Seriously, where did all this come from? I’ve been in serious denial for a while now. Seriously, she has been beautifully naive about so many things for so long, she still believes in Santa, for crying out loud!! How can she be starting puberty? It’s definitely here and I know that means I need to talk to her.
My own mom didn’t handle it well at all. She was too embarrassed to talk about it and I knew it, so of course I was embarrassed too. She gave me a book to read and that was it, so I didn’t really handle it well either. It was confusing to me and I can tell you without a doubt, I wasn’t even a little bit excited about any part of it. I didn’t want to deal with it. Besides all that, I was young, so I didn’t even have friends to talk to about the whole thing.
I don’t want my girls to have the same experience I did. I want to be here to answer their questions, to explain what’s going on, and to make sure they understand that even if they feel embarrassed, it’s all normal. I’m not gonna lie, now that it’s here, I kind of want to hand her a book and be done with it. I can understand why my mom acted the way she did. The thought of having an in-depth, frank conversation with her scares me to death, but I am determined and committed to doing it the right way. I just hope that when we get a chance to do it, the words will come. That I will give her straight forward, honest answers that she can understand. That even when I’m feeling uncomfortable, she won’t know it. That I can be excited about it like she is. Wish me luck!!
Until later…
