Confessions of a Crazy Mom…

Random thoughts, opinions, and observations from a slightly insane stay-at-home mom

Archive for the ‘Addiction’ Category

Benefits of Yoga

Posted by Jenny on October 10, 2010

You know I love yoga, and I also have an addictive personality, so a 30-day yoga challenge seemed like a really good idea to me.  I began the challenge on Friday, October 1st.  I knew before I signed up that Saturdays would be impossible for me, and I was going to have to let that go, so I was committed to every weekday, and as many weekend days as I could manage for the whole month.  I actually only have to complete 22 classes to be entered into the prize drawing, but I’m shooting for 26.

I always feel very calm and peaceful when I leave a class, but I hadn’t figured out how to carry that feeling for long.  Since I started the challenge (I’ve been to 8 classes in 10 days), that feeling has stuck with me.  It’s hard to describe, all I can say is that I am calm inside, I have more patience, I am a better listener, and I just don’t feel the stress that I am normally fighting.  Last week was extremely busy.  I had been on jury duty for 2&1/2 weeks and I had to reschedule several appointments for last week and I also had to be at school to help in Reilly’s class a couple of times.  On top of that, I was going to yoga everyday, which is about a 3 hr commitment (driving, class time, shower).  I normally hate weeks like that and I never once got overwhelmed over all I had to do, and I also wasn’t bothered by the things that weren’t getting done.  I felt peace.

I felt so peaceful that when Reilly spilled a whole glass of milk at dinner one night, I just got a towel and cleaned it up, without a single “dammit”.  It was no big deal.  On Friday, Addy had a friend spend the night and I helped them make treats with Addy’s new Girl Gourmet kit, I let them get out a new board game, and I let them make candy jewelry at the kitchen table (I hate that stuff and usually end up yelling).  Then today the girls were out playing with this giant inflatable ball that you climb inside and roll around the yard.  It was a Christmas present, but it just came out of the box yesterday (once again because I hate toys that require any effort from me, why does Santa keep bringing them??).  Of course, all the neighborhood kids wanted in on the action, which led to all kinds of screaming and whining and fighting over whose turn it was and who had to push and so-and-so already had 2 turns and it’s my ball why do I have to share, shouldn’t I get more turns than my friends?  I’m sure you can imagine the scene.  Anyway after about 10 minutes of listening to that nonsense and trying to direct the proceedings, Addy came up to me crying about her turn for the third time.  I calmly said to her, “All of this fighting and carrying-on makes me want to go in the kitchen and get the sharpest knife we have and come out and pop the thing.”  Addy looked shocked and said, “I thought you were feeling peaceful these days?”  I smiled and said, “I am.  I am completely at peace with that plan.”  The fighting stopped, for today anyway.  Yoga is fan-freakin-tastic!!

Until later…

Posted in Addiction, Exercise, Hot Yoga, Kids, Motherhood, Neighbors, Stress | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Hot Yoga Is So Cool!!

Posted by Jenny on May 26, 2010

The last few weeks I’ve been obsessed with trying hot yoga.  My friend mentioned it to me months ago, but it was before I had done any yoga at all, so it kinda went in one ear and out the other.  Then my therapist talked about it a few times and I thought it sounded interesting.  What really got me wanting to try it was another blog I read, Nucking Futs Mama.  She’s a bit obsessed with it, and it sounded like something I would like to try so I started looking into it.

I’ve always hated to be hot and sweaty.  If it’s above 80° outside, I want no part of Mother Nature unless the pool or ocean is nearby.   However, if I’m working out, I don’t feel like I’ve done any good if I haven’t worked up a sweat…that’s what was missing in the few yoga classes I had taken.  I loved the way I felt mentally and I left feeling peaceful and relaxed, but I didn’t necessarily feel like I had exercised.  I still wanted to go for a run when the class was over.  So hot yoga sounded like the perfect combination to me.

I started researching studios nearby and picked one that sounded good for beginners.  My friend Brenda said she would love to do it with me, so it was just a matter of finding a class time that fit both of our schedules…that happened last night.  I was so excited!!  I have no idea why I thought spending an hour and a half in a 100° room sounded like fun, but it did.  Of course, I had all my normal anxiety about what to wear, what if I can’t follow along, what if I think I’m following along just fine, but really I look like a complete idiot and everyone in the room is secretly thinking I shouldn’t be there, what if someone farts and I start laughing and can’t stop, what if the smell of sweaty bodies in close quarters makes me puke…you get the idea…I’m doing better most days, but I’m still crazy!!

The evening didn’t get off to a great start.  I went to see my cousin and her new baby in the hospital before yoga.  I should have had plenty of time but I got lost leaving the hospital.  I thought I knew what I was doing but apparently I didn’t and my car was about to run out of gas and I was in a really bad neighborhood so even if I saw a gas station (which I didn’t) I wasn’t about to stop so I called Tom to see if he could tell me what to do and he couldn’t because I didn’t know enough about where I was so I started crying and just kept driving and eventually got on a highway that didn’t lead me where I needed to be but at least I knew where I was so I could finally find a gas station and head toward the yoga studio.  I definitely needed some deep cleansing breaths by the time I arrived!!

The woman at the desk was really nice and asked us about previous yoga experience.  Brenda has been doing it for five years off and on and I’ve only been to three very basic classes at the gym.  She then said if at any time during the class you feel sick or dizzy just go into child’s pose or lie on your back, please don’t leave the room.  There won’t be anyone in the reception area so if you get sick or pass out, no one will be around to help you.  Looking back, that should have scared me a little bit, but it didn’t…I ran a freaking half marathon for cryin’ out loud!!

We got our mats and towels (beach size and hand towel) and water and walked into the studio.  There were already several people inside.  I scoped the place out for an inconspicuous spot where there was still room for both Brenda and me.  I led us over to the far back corner of the room.  I whispered as quietly as I could (you are supposed to be silent in the studio) that I wanted her to be in front of me so I could watch her.  We set up and laid down on our mats to “quiet ourselves” before class started.  It was the hottest room I have ever been in…not an exaggeration.  I was sweating before class began.

Pretty much the worst thing I could imagine happened when class started…we were actually in the front of the room, not the back!!  How we didn’t notice the mirrors on the wall right where we settled down, I’ll never know.  So I was directly in front of the mirror looking at my sweaty red-faced self in awkward uncomfortable poses for 75 minutes…I admit I’m vain, but I truly don’t enjoy watching myself work out!!  And, Brenda was actually behind me, not in front of me!  That part didn’t work out so badly because of the mirrors and half the time I was hanging upside down looking toward the back anyway.

As it turned out, I made it through the first 45 minutes or so without a problem.   I’m not lying when I say I have never been so sweaty in my life.  The first time I bent over for “Downward-Facing Dog”, I was shocked at the sweat dripping off my face and arms onto the towel.  Then I looked at my legs and you would have thought I just climbed out of a pool.  Seriously, I didn’t know my knees could sweat!!  It was harder than I expected, but I was keeping up with the class fairly well, and being in front of the mirror was actually helpful when the teacher explained the poses.  The whole class had been more difficult than I expected, but I was keeping up really well for a while.  I would guess that the class was about 2/3 over when it started getting really difficult for me.  I started getting light-headed so I tried Savasana (corpse pose) for a while.  It seemed to help, so I tried to get back to what the class was doing, but every time I sat up, I was dizzy.  I tried child’s pose for a bit, which also seemed to help, but I was still dizzy when I tried anything that involved lifting my head off of the floor, so I pretty much remained in Savasana for the rest of the class.  I was a little self-conscious about not participating, but the teacher kept saying “listen to your body, stop if you need to stop” and to be honest quitting seemed less embarrassing than possibly fainting or vomiting the 64 oz of water I had consumed over the last hour…Lord knows I didn’t want to be the one to disrupt the silence!

I realize I’m probably not doing a great job selling the idea of hot yoga based on my first experience, but I am being completely honest when I say that I loved it!!  I felt great when class ended.  I was relaxed and calm and something about sweating that much was so cleansing and refreshing.  The teacher told us that we both did really well, she actually forgot that I was a beginner, and it’s totally normal to feel a little light-headed and not be able to finish the class when you are just starting out. For all I know she is the owner of the studio and she just wants my money, but I don’t really care…I’m choosing to believe her!!

I can’t wait to go back!  In fact,  I’m desperately trying to find a babysitter Thursday, Friday, or Saturday so that I can get another class in this week.  Once school gets out, I’m seriously considering going to the 6am classes.  Then I don’t have to worry about a sitter or be away from home too many evenings.  It just may become my newest addiction!!

Until later…

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Body Image, Exercise, Fear, Friends, Hot Yoga, Marathon, Motherhood | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

I Have Arrived

Posted by Jenny on April 6, 2010

I’ve been wondering about something.  Do you think Starbucks adds a little crack to their coffee?  Seriously, I have lived nearly 37 years without becoming hooked on coffee and all it took was one Skinny Vanilla Latte and I was a goner.  It’s kind of bizarre actually.  I’ve had favorite drinks before.  I love diet vanilla coke from Frisch’s, I used to buy a chai tea mix that I made every morning (I gave that up because it had too much sugar), I get excited if a restaurant has diet Mountain Dew but none of those has ever been as important to me as that damn latte.

I had my first one in January.  I really liked it, so I started going to Starbucks if I happened to be out and drove past one.  I had a couple of gift cards lying around that I had never used because I wasn’t a coffee drinker, so in the beginning it didn’t cost me anything.  I told myself it was okay as long as I wasn’t spending any money.  I was stopping maybe 2 or 3 times a week.  Then the gift cards ran out and I started craving them more and more.  There is a Starbucks right in front of my gym, so it would be my treat after I worked out (that one has a drive through…BONUS!!).  I gradually worked my way up from a tall to a grande to a venti.  I signed up for the rewards program.  You basically just need to register a gift card online.  After five drinks you get your flavored syrup free every time, so I was saving $.40 on each latte…now that’s a deal!!  On top of that, you can set up your gift card to automatically re-load when the balance drops below a certain amount.  You also get a free drink on your birthday and a free drink after every 15 drinks you buy.  It was exciting to think of all the money I was saving.

Here’s where it gets really good.  After 30 drinks you get a Starbucks Gold Card!!  Mine arrived in the mail yesterday.  It’s all pretty and shiny and it has my name printed on it, so now the barista will know who I am.  The buzz I got from seeing it and holding it and sliding it into a special place in my wallet was almost as good as the double shot of espresso in my latte!  I’m pretty sure my awesomeness has reached a whole new level.

By the way, I just had one before I started writing.  I may be a little high!!

Until later…

Posted in Addiction, Exercise | Tagged: , , | 5 Comments »

I Have Issues…

Posted by Jenny on March 5, 2010

Obviously, I have issues.  I’m pretty sure the fact that I’m sharing my issues publicly is an issue in and of itself…oh well.   Anyway, I thought I would share another of my many dysfunctions with you today, so here goes…I have an abnormal attachment to my iPod.  I guess you could call it an addiction, but I’m not sure.  I’ll have to look into what factors actually make something an addiction, but I think these might…I am never without it.  I carry it around the house, sometimes even into the bathroom.  It goes with me when I leave.  There are times when it interferes with relationships…because when I have my headphones in, I can’t hear the phone or my husband or my kids, so I guess you could say I use it to escape and sometimes I’m happier that way and like all addictions, it has gotten worse over time.

I knew when I first saw the iPod on Oprah a few years back, it was going to change my life, and it has.  I have always loved music, all kinds, and I loved that all of my music would now be contained to such a teeny, tiny space instead of CD’s and cases scattered all over my house and car.   I also loved the fact that I could download a song in seconds and it only cost 99cents.  I no longer had to buy a whole CD for one or two songs.  Of course, I have since realized that iTunes costs me way more money than I ever would have spent on CD’s (but we can talk about my spending problems at another time). I am currently on my third iPod.  I started with a mini in 2005.  I mostly used it to create playlists for different occasions and to listen to when I cleaned.  After importing all of my CD’s and downloading lots of songs from iTunes it became clear that the memory was too small, so I graduated to a classic a couple years later, which had plenty of memory.  As time went on I did start using it more and more, in the car, when I worked out, at the pool, sometimes I just walked around the house with one headphone in so that I could hear what else was going on around me.   But the hard drive crashed over the summer.  It happened at a neighbor’s deck party.  It just stopped working.  Some of my more tech savvy neighbors took a look (basically held it up to their ears and heard a clicking sound, which, apparently, is never a good sign).  Needless to say, the party was over for me.  Seriously, I was devastated.  I knew I could get it fixed or replaced, but I didn’t even like the idea of a few days without it.  I know my reaction was way out of proportion to what happened, but I told you, I am really attached.  We took a trip to the Apple store the next night and it was confirmed that my classic wasn’t going to make it.  So, I got my iPod touch.  At the time, I wasn’t sure if I should upgrade.  I really only wanted my iPod for music.  I wasn’t interested in surfing the internet or checking email or buying apps (I didn’t even know what apps were).  It took me all of about 5 minutes of playing with the new iPod and I was hooked…that’s when the “addiction” became a little out-of-control.  I use it for everything…email, calendar, contacts, weather reports…and of course, I still listen to music on it all the time.  I can buy songs from iTunes right from the iPod and I also love the apps  (that hasn’t helped with my already out-of-control iTunes habit).  My husband, who never really got my love for my iPod, was all of a sudden very interested.  He wanted to play with the new one, he wanted to take it in the car, he wanted to use it to workout.  I literally couldn’t stand it.  I would have major anxiety when it was out of my possession. I hated sharing it, and that is not an exaggeration.  I finally had to buy one for him and although he does use it, he’s not addicted like I am.

So I guess the question is, are all addictions bad?  Does the fact that I truly believe I can’t live without my iPod mean I should give up the iPod?  I’m pretty sure if I gave up the iPod addiction I would have to replace it with something else, because that’s just the way I work…addiction is a touchy subject for me (we’ll talk about that at another time).  Seriously though, these are the things I think about…like I said…I have issues.


Until later…

Posted in Addiction | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.